Irreplaceable
by Someone aka Me
Summary: "Watching Lily Evans – no, it's Potter now – get married was the hardest thing Severus Snape ever did." "He tells Lucius that she's replaceable – but she's not." Unrequited SS/LE, JP/LE. Songfic to Adele's Someone Like You.


I own nothing. Not the lyrics, not the characters.

For the iPod Shuffle Challenge on HPFC. My prompt was "Someone like you" by Adele.

Yes, I know. The genders are backwards in the lyrics. Kindly ignore that. Thanks :D

The italics (within the narration, not the lyrics) are Severus's thoughts (well, more like the snarky git in his head), which is why they're... Second-person-ish.

_"Irreplaceable"_

_I heard that you settled down_

_That you found a girl and you're married now._

_I heard that your dreams came true._

_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you._

Watching Lily Evans – _no, __it__'__s __Potter __now_ – get married was the hardest thing Severus Snape ever did. He did it though, because they were best friends once, and, whatever they are now, what they once were still matters to him.

Judging by the way her eyes lit up when she saw him, he thinks maybe it matters to her, too – _and __thank __Merlin __for __that._

She looks beautiful in white – _always __has, __always __will_. Her fiery red hair spills stubbornly out of the up-do on her head, and her green eyes sparkle and dance.

And when she looks at James Potter, some part of him dies – _so __much __of __you __is __dead, __nowadays_ – because she never once looked at him like that, no matter how much he wanted her to.

_Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

She doesn't come to see him. She doesn't talk to him. She nods in his direction – _once, __only __once__ – _but she doesn't come over to talk to him. She laughs with Potter and his friends, and she talks to her friends, Alice and Marlene, but she doesn't come to talk to him.

_You __don__'__t __deserve __her_ – that's the thought he can't get out of his head. Potter doesn't deserve her, but he himself doesn't deserve her either. She deserves so much better than either of them.

But she's shying away from him – _serves __you __right_ – and he can't bring himself to seek her out because if she won't come talk to him, she doesn't want to, and he won't force her.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over._

More than one person accuses him of wedding crashing – _and __that__'__s __only __counting __out __loud._ He can see it in their eyes, they're all asking themselves, '_What__'__s _he _doing __here?__'_

But it's not true; she did send him an invitation. He's not sure she told Potter, though, because a shock of surprise when through his eyes when he first noticed.

And he wanted to refuse the invitation, but it was from _her,_ and he could never say no to her – _because __you__'__re __weak._

And he wonders if maybe some part of him thought that showing up, seeing her, having her see him, would change her mind – _of __all __the __stupid, __idiotic __things__…_

But seeing him changes nothing, and she marries Potter with a smile on her face.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

_Don't forget me, I beg_

It sounds like a lie, even to himself, but despite everything, he's happy she's happy. Watching her happy – _seeing __those __emerald __eyes __glow_ – it's always ignited something inside him, since the very beginning, and when she smiles the corners of his mouth quirk up, just a little bit, without fail – _so __weak. __So, __so __weak._

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Yeah._

It hurts. The pain is nearly unbearable, but he's no stranger to pain – _and __that__'__s __an __understatement._ He takes the pain and crumples it into a little ball and tosses in the depths of his brain – _it__'__s __getting __a __little __crowded __back __there __because __there__'__s __so __much of it__._

_You know how the time flies_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives_

_We were born and raised_

_In a summer haze_

_Bound by the surprise of our glory days_

He wishes, sometimes – _but __only __ever __in __the __solitude __of __your __own __flat_– that they could go back to those innocent summer days. The days when they could pass a lazy afternoon just soaking up the sun. Where they never had to talk – _but __you __always __wanted __to__ –_ and they could just lie there and enjoy each other's presence.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over._

He feels like this is wrong. He's standing on her doorstep, trying to warn her, and he feels like he's doing something wrong – _that__'__s __because __you __want __to __so __much __more __than __warn __her._

It's pathetic. He's had five years to get over her – _but __you __can__'__t, __can __you? __So __weak._

Finally, he knocks. Potter answers the door, a sneer on his face – _you __deserve __it._

Still, Potter's tone is civil when he asks, "Why are you here?"

He fidgets. "I'm sorry. It's just… can I come in?"

_Pathetic__ – _he can't even come up with a coherent sentence. Potter looks as though he's thinking the same thing, and wondering why on earth he should let him in, but he's Potter, and such a _Gryffindor_, so he does.

"Thank you," he murmurs – _because __you__'__re __pathetic __and __can__'__t __come __up __with __anything __better._

Potter just nods.

She's there. He hadn't expected how much it would affect him to see her with a baby bump – _because __you__'__re __weak._

He explains to them that they're in danger. Some – _stupid, __foolish_ – part of him wants her to see him as the hero, risking his life to tell her this – _but __of __course __she __doesn__'__t._

He explains that they really need to go into hiding, because when the Dark Lord decides on a target, he doesn't stop until that target is dead. He's calm and collect, but inside he's shaking – _because __they __don__'__t __know, __they __don__'__t __know __how __he __is, __they __don__'__t __know __how __serious __this __is, __and __what __if __they __die, __she __dies, __because __he __can__'__t __convey __the __severity?_

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

_Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

Walking out of their house, he knows it's all out of his hands now, but those hands are trembling for her. He can't have her, she's not a part of his life anymore, but he still can't imagine a world that she's not in. He can't even think the word – _so __pathetic, __so __weak_ – _dead._ He can't imagine a world where she's dead. She's so vibrant, so full of life, that it feels to him that if she died, she'd take all of the life in the world with her.

_Nothing compares_

_No worries or cares_

_Regrets and mistakes_

_They are memories made._

_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

He begs the Dark Lord for her life. The taste of pleas feels so _wrong _on his tongue, because he never begs, not for anything – _but __you__'__ll __do __it __for __her._

He won't be able to live with himself if he's the reason she dies.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you_

_Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

He tells the Lucius, when he asks, that her death doesn't matter, because she never mattered in particular – _lies, __all __lies_ – and he can so easily find someone like her. He tells Lucius that she's replaceable – _but __she__'__s __not._

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too_

_Don't forget me, I beg_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

For him, it hurts. Love always hurts.


End file.
